Hinamatsuri (雛祭り): Japan’s Girl’s Day celebration
Hinamatsuri, Girl’s Day, in Japan is on March 3rd every year and is a time to focus our attention and appreciation on our daughters! Throughout Japan you will see the beautiful hinakazari (雛飾り- hina doll set) – Doll sets set up in homes, city halls, and public places. There will be many seen in museums as high-end sets are passed down from generation to generation and cost many thousands of dollars.
Like most things ‘Japanese’ the intricate detail of these sets is staggering – it would take many many pages to describe and discuss all the many nuances, and I am certainly not an expert, but I did put together a YouTube video on our hinakazari set. Since my wife is Japanese we have purchased, inherited, and been gifted several full doll sets, one set for each of our daughters – and of course the set that was purchased for my wife when she was born. For a close look at these incredible works of art, please check out my Youtube video!
Hinamatsuri origin story
In 1629 (Edo Period) Emperor Go-Mizunoo was forced to abdicate from the throne due to violating an edict from the Shogun (The Purple Robe incident – the Emperor bestowed religious garments on 10 priests in violation of the Shogun’s edict banning such practice. The 10 priests were exiled and Emperor Mizunoo was forced to abdicate. Complicated times…) and his daughter, Princess Meisho ascended to the throne. Her mother, Tokugawa Masako (yes, of THAT Tokugawa family), created and gifted her daughter what became the first hina doll set instead of her wedding ceremony that little Meisho would now never have. Once Empress, Meisho would not have been allowed to get married and the hinadan, a full 7-tiered hinakazari/hina doll set, represents the wedding ceremony that Meisho could never have. Once gifted, the practice of displaying these hinamatsuri doll sets became widespread and came to represent the Japanese values and wishes for their daughters.
The Daughter – Father bond
Men are not often ‘in touch’ with their deeper emotions. So I found it difficult to describe the bond of a father to his daughter. It is easier to discuss my emotions regarding my sons. After all, my boys are being raised to take my place, figuratively speaking, and understanding them is often understood through understanding myself. But describing my relationship with my daughters is a harder reach – more emotional, more intuitive, harder to put into words. My thoughts turned to poetry in a way that thinking of my sons never could:
桜咲く さくらさく庭に こよひこそ
This haiku captures the beauty of cherry blossoms while subtly alluding to the return of a daughter to her family, evoking a sense of joy and reunion:
Cherry blossoms bloom
In the garden of cherry blossoms,
The daughter comes home.”
And there it is. The perfect description of the emotion. In Japan, cherry blossoms come out right after winter’s grip loosens. It announces spring and life. A daughter returning home can only be seen with such imagery! When she is gone, it is winter -dark, pale, lifeless. But when she returns – life returns!
顔見ても さし書きつくばは 秋の風 夜半の月に 涙は落ちけり
Even though I see your face, my pen scrapes the paper, blown by the autumn wind, tears fall in the moonlight
Another Japanese poem equating the daughter’s absence as a time of cold, dark, and loneliness. One can hear the dry scrape of a goose quill pen, the cold scratching at an autumn window as an old man gazes at a faded picture of his little girl, so far away…
So there it is…
As Fathers, we build the house. Our wives take the house we build and make it a home. But it is our daughters that fill that home with life and laughter. Our daughters whose return is like the coming of spring, and when absent we are condemned to agedness. It is our daughters (and daughters-in-law, if we are lucky!) who return to us with grandchildren, who again fill our home with the sound of love and laughter. Our sons bring hope to a future we will never see, but it is our daughters who fill that future with love and life!
