Today’s writing prompt, “What do you wish you could do more every day?” hit a little closer than usual. As a stay-at-home homeschool Dad, I cherish every minute with my crazy, bounce-off-every-wall menagerie of 7 kids. And I mean that! What I get to experience every day with them is what men all over the world wish for, work for, and regret missing in their old age – more time with their children.
But…
The grass always seems greener. We always miss what we don’t have, even when that ‘thing’ is of far less importance than what we have. For many homeschool Dads (and I am sure homeschool Moms, but I am not a homeschool Mom so I will let them speak for themselves!) the ‘thing’ that is missing is a social life. Perhaps more acutely so because the homeschooling community is, let’s face it, primarily populated with mothers as the primary teacher and homeschool ‘manager’. Just go onto any of the social media sites and search for ‘homeschool’, you will find pages and pages of homeschool accounts, articles, encouragement, advice… all for the homeschooling mothers. You will find extremely little hints that the homeschool Dad even exists! We are as rare, apparently, as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Yeti.
And, as tough and strong and silent as men (usually) are, we miss our social life. Our ‘tribe’, the boys, the gang, our crew. We miss going out for lunch, taking in some pool and beer, a golf trip, and hunting/fishing/gold panning adventures. We miss being ‘a guy’.
The grass is greener…
…but not on the other side of the fence. That is life’s great fakeout. We think the grass is greener over there, but we know deep down that if we ‘hop the fence’ we will find different grass, but it won’t be any greener than the field we call home now. After all, the preponderance of men around the world know what they are missing when they kiss their kids goodbye in the morning and kiss them goodnight – seeing them for only an hour or so each day, only to be too exhausted to spend much quality time with them on the weekend.
So where is the grass greener?
The grass is greener where you water it. Yes, we are homeschool Dads and are responsible for delivering an education to our children. But we are also gardeners, growers, builders – so build your ‘tribe’! If you miss your social life, build a new social life and build your tribe to appreciate the social life YOU want.
If you recall your ‘care-free’ youth, many times you didn’t want to go to that bar, or try that golf course – or even stay out at all. You compromised with your ‘tribe’ and went along with things you didn’t particularly want to do just to spend time with your crew. Well, ever notice how your kids don’t really care what you do, only that it is with you?
Building your tribe
What do I want to do more every day? Water my garden, build my tribe. Teach my kids to beat me in chess – so I can play a challenging game of chess whenever I want. Take them golfing and help them become awesome golfers – so I can practice my golf game, at my own pace, when I want to, at the courses I want to go to. Take them out to restaurants and pool halls (the ones open to kids of course!) so they learn to appreciate a night out – and you get to have a beer (careful, you are probably driving) and play some pool.
This is the long game. This is watering your grass. Miss your social life? Build your social circle! It takes effort and the ability to see where you are going and what is possible – but that is one of men’s strengths isn’t it? The ability to see the future in the building blocks of the present. Once you are done you will have your crew – one who can beat you at the chess board, challenge you on darts and billiards, push you on the golf course, and end the day at your local eatery/bar for the perfect social life – that one you thought you lost (but never really had anyway!)
What do I wish I could do every day? Water my grass – it will get greener!
